Getting back into the swim of things

Had a PTSD experience 10 days ago which explains why I haven't been here. On Friday night the 4th, I was getting ready for bed when I suddenly developed a nosebleed. I thought I had stopped the bleeding, so I got into my jammies and got into bed, only to find the bleeding had started again, and was now VERY heavy. This time I was not able to stop the bleeding, and it was alarmingly fast, so I awoke my elderly father, who lives with us, and had him drive me to the ER. The doctor there, who knew I had PTSD, said the best treatment would be to insert a "Rhino Rocket" in my nose and inflate it. She said I would feel "some discomfort" and proceeded to ram this sticklike thing up my nose. The pain was unbearable! I cried, "No, no, NO!" and she had to stop. She packed my nose with cotton instead. I told her I would need sedation or some other pain relief to tolerate the "Rhino Rocket" procedure, and she refused me any, though she said I really did need the procedure to treat the nosebleed adequately. I was sent home with a nose full of cotton, and slept, fitfully, sitting upright on the couch for the rest of the night.

Saturday morning, I lounged around and took it easy. In the early afternoon, about 12 hours after I had come home, the bleeding started again, much worse than ever. My kitchen looked like a crime scene; there was blood everywhere. My daughter dialed 911 for me, and Son called Grandpa to tell him to come home right away. The kids ended up at a neighbor's while I rode in the ambulance back to the ER, to a different doctor. This time, I said right away that I had PTSD and I would need a sedative if they were going to insert a "Rhino Rocket." In a very short time, a nurse came in to start an IV. When they were ready to do the procedure, they gave me sedation and two kinds of local anesthetic. It was no big deal! It stopped the bleeding, too. Why the Hell didn't the dumb b!tc# from the night before just do it with sedation in the first place? It would have saved me a trip in an ambulance, and my children a whole lot of trauma.

Hey, doctors! If you have patients with PTSD, listen when they tell you what they need! Don't traumatize them further.

Flu!

On Friday I succumbed to the nasty respiratory flu that has bedeviled everyone else in my family for the last couple of weeks. I suppose it was inevitable. My son and I have had some heart-to-heart conversations now, about our common experience, and decided that one of the unique features of this particular virus that makes it special is the "cough 'til you yak" phenomenon. For the first day and a half, I felt as though my entire skin surface had been gone over with a nutmeg grater. Now, that feeling has subsided, blessedly, but my throat, at times, has the distinct sensation of having swallowed a number of double-edged razor-blades.

Oh well, could be worse, could be raining. Wait. . . it is. Damn.

Oh, wow!

I ordered some stuff from the Cafe Press store so I could check out the quality, and I just got four products today (I still have a sweatshirt coming). They are great! I was worried that the graphics might look cheesy, or that it might be poor quality stuff, but it's all really top-notch stuff. I got the journal, tote bag, a mug, and a t-shirt. Now I know I can stand behind this project with pride. Please support my efforts to raise money for DV charities.

My Inner Hero - Paladin!





I strive to help others, and to bring truth and harmony to the world however I can. Whether times are good or bad, you can always count on me. I'm a shoulder to cry on, a champion for the helpless, and an all around nice person.



How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

This is kind of funny, actually, since I am a Dame Templar in real life.

Now THAT'S what I'm TALKIN' about!

Hah! Just got my lab results from some routine bloodwork back from the doctor's office. Everything was marked "OK," and here's the fun part, the ones that had numbers:

Blood sugar: 83
Total Cholesterol: 156 (should be <200)
HDL: 45 (should be > or = 40)
LDL: 85 (should be <130)
Triglycerides: 130 (should be <150)

Oh, yeah! I so rock!

Hmmmm.

I managed to mail my appeal of the crappy decision by social services today-- post office was backed-up as Hell yesterday. But I found I slept a bit better last night, just having written the letter, knowing I was taking action and not helpless in the hands of some government bureaucrat.

Couple O' Updates

Finally got back to Tae Kwon Do class today, having missed almost a whole week due to sick kids. I'm working on the whole of Chon-ji now, feeling pretty good about it. Noticed that when we jog laps around the dojang, I can jog longer than I used to before I feel like I'm going to die. Wheee.

Talked with the detective handling Daughter's abuse complaint. The case has been handed to the DA, so I should be hearing from that office in a few days. I'm filing an appeal of the social services report, which is only a part of the whole case, because they came to completely different conclusions and I believe they botched the interview with my daughter. Luckily, the cops have a lot more stuff to turn over to make their case, so that one report might not be a problem.

I'm up to doing 15 regular push-ups a day, though I'm admittedly not exactly getting all the way to the floor on each one yet. I still feel I'm making progress.

I guess this isn't so bad.

Green Day

Bought tickets this morning to go see Green Day when they come to town! That's something I certainly could not have done if I were still in my abusive marriage. It's little freedoms like this that remind me all the time how good it is to be free.

Have you done any of this?

(BOLD means I did it.)

01. Dyed your hair
02. Been a DJ
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Been arrested
05. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it
09. Taught yourself an art from scratch
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Had a booth at a street fair
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten my own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
25. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
26. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Built your own PC from parts
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden on a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Ridden on a motorcycle
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
48. Ridden a horse
49. Had major surgery
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was sh*t faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
55. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Changed your name
64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it.
81. Parasailed
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Skipped all your school reunions
84. Started a business
85. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
86. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Written your own computer language
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Found out someone was going to dump you via Blogger
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything!
108. Gone back to school
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gotten someone fired for their actions
115. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Had your picture in the newspaper
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Eaten kangaroo meat
129. Been a sperm or egg donor
130. Eaten sushi
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
134. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Written articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds at one time
142. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Had sex on a moving train

Public Service Announcement

Just for folks who may not know:

If you have a disability, you are protected by federal law under the Agency on Aging against abuse. If you are disabled, and believe you are being abused psychologically, physically, financially, etc., please seek assistance!

Disabilities Information Hotline 800-692-0249

Disabled Persons Protection Commission 800-426-9009

http://www.vachss.com/help_text/disabled_abuse.html